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I relayed all of this information to host and he said, "I know what the Simple Press people are saying but the logs are saying the script is trying to access the MySQL server as root."

What I understood you to suggest was that something else is already connected as root and therefore the script is basically "ignoring" my wp-config user settings and trying to access as root.  Correct?  If so, seems host isn't understanding this or maybe I completely missed your point.

More info in case it may be related ...
I am on VPS hosting (4 CPU, 8G RAM). We use Digital Access Pass membership plugin and have 30,000+ "free" members in DAP, 6700+ in WP users (numbers are so different because had to wipe WP users at one point ... so 6700 is more accurate number of active free users).  Paid members receive access to our web-app (outside of WP) but they get connected via the permissions from DAP.  We recently added APC to help speed things up as well as configured W3 Total Cache (W3 Edge team configured for me).  However, it seems there is just an underlying issue causing these errors, 504s while working with WP-Admin, random 404s, etc.

I have tried several forums (VBulletin, bbPress, etc.) but SP is the only one that has worked almost seamlessly/effortlessly for me with DAP (YEAH!!!).  I do not have anything special configured between DAP/SP.  User gets free access via DAP, becomes a WP user, and therefore gets access to SP.  All registering/account info is initiated and handled via DAP.  Works GREAT and I am determined to keep SP.  I haven't tested recently, but previously deactivating SP removes this particular error. That doesn't really point a finger at SP though, does it?  Seems to me like SP is just revealing that something else is going wrong via this error, correct? 

Seeing as I have NO understanding of any of technical stuff, it seems I am at the mercy of the host to help resolve. But the finger just gets pointed back to DAP, web-app, APC, SP, etc.  I have had all of these dev's investigate to come to same conclusion... "talk to the host".  His response as of late is that this is my server and my responsibility to troubleshoot/fix.  I hope to get moved to managed WP hosting soon because I have not a clue how to do this beyond the help I have sought from devs.

My server is currently connected to NewRelic monitoring service (http://newrelic.com) so devs can see more info.  We know my web-app needs to move to separate server because it is pulling too many resources, so this is our first step to take before I can move WP to managed hosting.  I do not know how to read much of the info at NewRelic, but if that would be helpful for you to see, I can send you login info so you can view.

I do not want to waste your time if this isn't a SP issue.  Any further recommendations from the SP side of things?  Any other directions I should seek out prior to migration to new host?  If not, I will hold tight til new hosting is established and then see where to go from there.

Sorry for such long details.  Just want to put it all out there in case it's helpful. Thank you so much for your time!