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yeah, thats the way its currently designed... we have been toying and experimenting with other potential changes...  Andy and I are not in total synch yet on how this should operate...

but the admin dashboard shows the admin queue errr, now called admins postsbag...  so to be removed from the postbag, they have to be removed from the admin queue - that is approved or replied to...  simply viewing a topic/post will not remove it from the admins postbag... 

its not a personal unread list... its is a list of posts on the forum that have not been acted on...  that means, approved (which really removes from the postbag) or replied to (which also removes)...

if you are not using the admin bar, then I would not use the admin bar plugin...  yes, you will lose the unread list from the dashboard...  perhaps that should be a standalone plugin...